They Did What for Beauty? Bizarre Beauty Hacks You’ll Wish You Could Unread!!

No matter the results, people have always gone to extraordinary—and sometimes utterly revolting—lengths to enhance their beauty. From TikTok trends that leave you shaking your head to ancient rituals you’d never dream of trying, the quest for perfection has a long and bizarre history. Buckle up as we dive into some of the weirdest beauty hacks out there—past and present. Be prepared to cringe, laugh, and maybe even gag a little.

Modern Beauty Hacks That Make You Say, “Why?!”

1. Lube for Hair Shine
   This hack, popularized by TikTok DIY beauty creators, involves using personal lubricant to tame frizz and add shine to hair. The silicone content mimics high-end serums. While some swear by its sleek results, others are understandably put off by the unconventional product choice. Experts warn against potential buildup on the scalp.
2. Vaginal Cream as Face Primer
   This trend started with TikTok influencers who claimed that vaginal yeast infection cream minimizes redness and tightens pores thanks to its active anti-inflammatory ingredients. While it might work temporarily, dermatologists warn of potential irritation and allergic reactions, leaving most people skeptical—and slightly horrified.
3. Placenta Creams
   Popularized by celebrities like Kim Kardashian, placenta creams claim to boost collagen and reduce wrinkles. They are made from sheep or human placentas and marketed as anti-aging miracles. While some users rave about the effects, others are repulsed by the idea of rubbing afterbirth on their faces.
4. Using Hemorrhoid Cream on Eyes
   This hack was introduced by makeup artists as a quick fix to reduce under-eye puffiness and tighten skin, leveraging the cream’s anti-inflammatory properties. While it works temporarily, frequent use can irritate the delicate eye area. Plus, no one really wants to smell like hemorrhoid cream at brunch.
5. Using Deodorant as Face Primer
   This trend originated on TikTok, where users applied deodorant to their faces to keep makeup from melting in hot weather. While the aluminum salts might help with sweat control, dermatologists warn of clogged pores, breakouts, and the sheer absurdity of making your face smell like your armpits.
6. Nail Glue for Instant Facelift
   This trend, born out of TikTok viral challenges, involves using nail glue to tape skin back for a temporary facelift effect. While it works for a quick photo op, peeling glue off your skin can cause irritation, and the whole process sounds more painful than glamorous.
7. DIY Toothpaste Face Masks
   A favorite among DIY enthusiasts, this hack suggests using toothpaste as a full-face mask to combat acne. Though the drying properties might work on a single zit, slathering it everywhere often leads to redness, irritation, and a stinging sensation that will make you regret every life choice.
8. Ketchup for Hair Toner
   This odd hack came from TikTok creators who used ketchup to neutralize green tones in blonde hair caused by pool chlorine. The red pigments in the sauce can indeed cancel out green, but at the cost of smelling like a walking burger stand.
9. Glue for Fuller Lips
   This challenge took off on social media, with people applying school glue around their lips to create an instant plumping effect. While the results are temporary, the irritation—and sheer ridiculousness—last much longer.

Even the Ancients Were No Strangers to Strange Beauty Hacks

It’s not just modern times that have spawned bizarre beauty trends. Ancient civilizations were equally creative, and their methods ranged from ingenious to downright shocking.

1. Bone Marrow Hair Gel
   This ancient Greek hack involved mixing bone marrow with oil to style and condition hair. It provided shine and hold, but let’s not forget the smell of rotting marrow on a warm Mediterranean afternoon.
2. Animal Fats for Moisturizing
   Roman women used refined animal fats as a skin moisturizer. While it left skin soft and hydrated, the idea of rubbing lard on your body today would send most people running to the nearest drugstore for lotion.
3. Crushed Beetle Lipstick
   Egyptian nobility crushed carmine beetles to create bold red lipsticks. While the vibrant shade was considered beautiful, the thought of bugs on your lips might be enough to skip lipstick altogether.
4. Urine for Skin Whitening
   Ancient Romans believed urine could whiten and soften their skin due to its ammonia content. Effective? Perhaps. Horrifying? Absolutely. Let’s hope no one ever revives this trend.
5. Crocodile Dung Masks
   Wealthy Egyptians mixed crocodile dung with clay for anti-aging face masks. While they believed it prevented wrinkles, sitting with reptile poop on your face is a level of commitment that even modern beauty fanatics would find hard to match.
6. Bird Dropping Facials
   Japanese geishas used powdered nightingale droppings to exfoliate and brighten their skin. Surprisingly, this hack has made a sanitized comeback in luxury spas, though it’s still not for the faint-hearted.
7. Milk Baths
   Cleopatra’s legendary milk baths were said to soften skin and maintain a youthful glow. But let’s be honest—sitting in a tub of souring dairy sounds less like self-care and more like a recipe for disaster.

A Final Word of Caution

While these hacks may be fascinating to read about, they’re also a reminder that beauty often comes at a cost—sometimes to your skin, your dignity, or your health. Many modern trends, like glue or deodorant on the face, can cause irritation and long-term damage, while ancient methods relied on ingredients that are downright toxic or revolting.

Before you try any unconventional beauty treatment, consult a dermatologist. Your skin deserves better than risky trends. After all, beauty may be pain, but it doesn’t have to be this painful.